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  • Suzanne Taylor

Do I Wish it Wasn't?




Yesterday I had a loud moment in my brain thoughts...do you ever have those? The thoughts that seem to want to grab your attention more than others?


"WHY CAN'T IT GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS ????"


It was just like how you heard yourself reading that last sentence - it was that loud.


But, the Father in His infinite patience, spoke into that moment as well. You know how He always speaks more quietly than the loud thoughts? Like when He whispers I lean in and give it a little more attention? It's like He knows that about me.


His whisper was confusing at first - "huh...what...why would You bring 'them' up right now?" He had answered my statement with a picture of the Israelites in the wilderness. Why would you bring them up, Lord? The quiet thought went on...After providing a bread-like substance with a slight taste of honey to cover the ground for a daily harvest, the people had complained,


"...and even the Israelites themselves began moaning, “We don’t have any meat! In Egypt we could eat all the fish we wanted, and there were cucumbers, melons, onions, and garlic. But we’re starving out here, and the only food we have is this manna.”

Numbers 11:4-6


They had been slaves while they ate those cucumbers - slaves to their rituals, culture and society.


Then it dawned on me....without condemnation, my good Father was showing me my similarities...."I don't get to be with friends. I can't relax at the grocery store. We can't have our regular routine. Everything is off."


My slavery to my rituals, culture and society...


my pandemic was their wilderness experience.


And, now I have a choice.


I can look around me and focus on what was lost, or I can choose to see the gifts of 'manna' within every day.


They had been out in the wilderness for a while. We have been in this pandemic for a while. Where do your thoughts go?


As for me, I want to quit listening to my thoughts so much, and rather speak more at them when they raise their loud voices. I want to see the miracles all around me today with a grace-filled/no condemnation/miracle-expectant heart.


On this journey, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble (wildernesses/pandemics). But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33.


His Promised Land is within view - daily and for eternity. Speak truth to yourself. Today.


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